The Not-Exactly-Official GOP/Trump Platform

Click here [not] for the download to begin

For the first time, just in time for the possibly rigged election, here’s your chance to get the unofficial, imaginary print version explaining in greater detail the Republican Party’s “Whatever He Says Or Wants 2020” platform, featuring the best words — ever!! And it’s free to you right now!

[Can you imagine The Donald ever doing anything that won’t cost you! Well, here it is, finally!]

Just pay the low bargain price of $89.99* to get your very own password so you can actually view the free contents!

It’s your very own digital presentation on how to behave and what to think or say, straight from The Donald. It’s like being right there with him, except that there’s no way any of you could possibly be allowed within 100 feet of him.

As a bonus, for the low, low special price of $79.99*, you’ll get his personalized absolution, just in case you ever have qualms about your complete surrender of principles and thought in exchange for your total devotion to him no matter what he says or does! WOW! Most GOP members in Congress have their own copies. You can now be just like them!

This is a must-have for anyone who doesn’t care what happens tomorrow!

No need to worry for another minute each and every time you overlook, excuse away, rationalize, fictionalize, fantasize, or simply ignore the latest in The Donald’s endless stream of horrible, ignorant…